Song Of Pain

I don't understand.  I don't know who to believe.
     I'm trying...
     To say you hurt my pride
     I'm trying...
     To heal an angry wound...
I miss you.  I love you.
I want to come home even though I know I can't.
     And if I could believe
     That you could be trying too...
     Then once again
     I'd try to believe in you...
I don't remember everything that happened
I can't remember everything that was said
I can only remember feeling the pain
How did everything spiral so out of control?
     I'm trying to find my destiny
     And I'm trying to figure out who I truly am
     And I'm trying not to turn
     To runaway and hide
     I'm trying not to runaway and hide...
What happened to the love we once shared
How did everything go so very wrong
And whatever happened to us?
     I'm trying to make you understand how I feel
     To justify my feelings of betrayal
     I'm trying to describe my pain to you
     How badly you hurt me with your coldness
     And all the while...
     I'm trying not to cry
     Not to cry...
You never really listened to what I had to say
I don't think you really wanted to hear
You felt much safer drawing your own conclusions
Never noticing the tears I was trying to hide
Unaware how badly your actions scarred me
     I'm trying...
     To find some strength inside of me
     And trying not to be ruled by my pride
     I'm trying to stand tall  on my own
     And I'm trying not to run from you
     Run from you...
I never planned on any of this happening
I never wanted you to see the depth of my pain
You hurt me so very badly
I never had expected it
You never looked beneath the surface of my words
And when I stopped arguing
And when I stopped talking
You took my silence as uncaring
Overlooking the tears and my heartache
Why couldn't you see that I was trying to stand tall
And trying to be strong
So I didn't break down in front of you
     And if I could believe...
     That you're trying, too
     Then I'd try to believe in you
     One more time
     I'd take another chance
     And I'd try to believe in you...